The Apology In The Heartache
by SheandHer
Summary: She feels reborn and happy...but he has so much to confess to her...Will their world come crashing down? Or is this a time for new beginnings?  One-Shot inspired by: 6x13. REMEMBER GOLDEN RULE! It can be found in our profile


_**Hey guys! Another one shot here! This is comprised of a few scenes I saw unfolding in my head. I'm anxious to see what happens on Thursday…dun dun dun xD **_

_**Written by: "Her" a.k.a. Amanda.**_

_**Disclaimer: Bones belongs to Fox, no copyright infringement intended. **_

The steam from the scalding hot water clouded the mirror as she peered into it. She slowly swiped a hand over the glass and looked into her eyes. She was looking for something and she wasn't sure she would be able to find it. For the past few months, her once vibrant eyes had lost their spark. They had become lack luster, hallow and dead. Dark circles had claimed a permanent resident under her eyes.

But tonight was different. They had appeared dull and bottomless days ago, but tonight there was a hint of playful magic. There was a kind of life within them that used to grace them every day. Yes, Temperance Brennan was feeling more like herself.

Cautiously stepping into the shower she felt an immediate relief as the droplets collided with her skin. This was a place that washed the vestiges of death and darkness away. She felt revitalized and new. The tenseness in her neck from bending over examining tables all day eased away and everything disappeared into a delightful forgetfulness. A mixture of water and shampoo gathered around her ankles. She looked down and noticed the water circling the drain, her red toenails bright against the stark tiles of the shower.

As she stepped out of the shower and dried off, she smiled to herself. She was feeling the happiest she had felt in a while. She went about the rest of her nightly routine and looked forward to curling up in bed.

She sat comfortably under the covers and gingerly turned the pages of a book. Her eyes traveled over the letters but soon it felt like none of the information truly reached her.

All she could think about was Booth.

Things were finally beginning to feel normal again. It was as if someone had conjured a remote control out of thin air and had rewound time. It was as if the words: "Afghanistan" and "Maluku" were lost in their voices and never spoken. The idea in the literal sense was of course ludicrous.

But she couldn't cast aside how she was feeling. Things felt right. More metaphors darted into her mind. She envisioned herself months ago coming to a fork in the road. What had caused her life to go awry was her choice of taking the twisted, foreboding path. It was a road that distanced her from Booth. She had regretted her decision immediately. These last few weeks were comparable to her retracing her steps. She would rectify any mistakes. She would knit together open wounds. She would not give up. But today she had found the right road. She was no longer wandering. Somehow purpose flooded within her.

Booth had been kind to her over the past couple of days. He invited her to lunch and eventually after-case drinks. Not once did he mention Hannah. When she absentmindedly brought her up, he always gave the excuse that she was working and too busy to spare time.

Brennan was thrilled to have her best friend back. Everything that had transpired between them was tossed away. She never wanted to revisit that time. She was content as she sat across from him at the diner. She sneakily stole a fry or two off his plate, laughed at the comical notions that left his lips and enjoyed her coffee as he tried for the one hundredth time to get her to try a bit of his pie. He would offer a piece of it on his fork and this time she gladly tried some. Booth was shocked, but he soon broke into a childish grin as she told him: _'it's not bad.'_ She prized his friendship and made a mental note to never lose it again. She would make sure that things would remain like this…she had to.

She would not allow herself to dream. She had learned not to place her faith in dreams. Although she felt the universe had spoken to her, the thoughts of having a romantic relationship Booth still brought her pain. Look at what those thoughts had done to them. Both of them were guilty of causing themselves great stress. Their propositions and declarations only tore them apart. They had drifted farther and farther away from each other and almost didn't recognize one another.

She would not risk that again.

She knew that if she did he may disappear again. And this time she wouldn't be able to reach out a hand and pull him back to her. They would not be able to salvage what they were time and time again. People and relationships are fragile. Sometimes fragments cannot be reassembled; broken pieces too jagged to mend. People were only given so many chances.

Such ideas were out of the question now. He was happy, therefore, she was happy. They would improve every day. Their friendship would be entirely whole again. That had to be enough.

For once Brennan did not lie awake and stare at the ceiling until her eyes burned from exhaustion. Tonight she allowed sleep to take her.

Her uninterrupted sleep did not last long. There was a knocking her door. The knocking soon became a banging at her door. Brennan's eyes shot open and automatically passed over her clock. 1 AM. She cautiously removed the baseball bat from under her bed and moved to her front door.

Looking through peep hole a sigh of relief took her. It was Booth. He had not attempted the late night drop in in quite some time. This was unexpected. She wrenched open the door immediately.

"Booth," She was happy to see him, but then she took in his appearance. He looked worse for wear. His trench coat was drenched, bits of snow and ice flecked his hair and he looked pale and stricken.

"Hey." Was all he could manage.

"What happened to you? Is everything okay?" She grabbed his arm and pulled him into her apartment while shutting the door. "You must be freezing." She left him standing there as she ran to the hall closet and ripped out a towel. He stood in her apartment's threshold, looking like a ghost. He looked alarmed, like his feet had betrayed him and brought him there.

She dashed over to him and looked into his eyes. Worry was etched across her features and she placed a cool hand on his forehead.

"Booth what are you doing? You could have caught pneumonia out there."

Before he knew what was happening, she pulled off his coat and discarded it on the floor. She began rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm him. He was as cold as ice.

Booth remained silent. For as long as Brennan had known Booth, he had never been a man at a loss for words. She felt dread well up inside her and tried to quell it.

"Booth, are you hurt?"

Nothing.

"Here," Brennan said. She tried with all her might to keep the worry out of her voice as she steered him to her sofa. He fumbled with the towel still wrapped around him. "Booth, you're scaring me, please look at me." She tenderly cupped his face in her hands and he looked her squarely in the face. The familiar blue somehow breathed life back into him. He looked like he was recovering from a nightmare.

"What happened?"

He noticed that her hair was still wet. The scare and pleading in her eyes was identical to_: that night. _In a monsoon of rain she had almost been killed by a car. She was almost erased from this world. The echo of a cry in the night would have been all that was left of her. And it would have been his fault. For the past few nights he had been overrun with hellish nightmares of Brennan being taken from him. In such periods he would awaken in a memory. But every memory had a different outcome…because of Hannah, she had been the reason he was not there for Brennan. Because he had been so preoccupied with his own affairs…his fling, Bones had…

_The pain shot through his body, ribs rubbing together like sandpaper, his heartbeat pumping wildly in his ears. He had to be faster, he had to hurry. Dogs barked and screams shattered his eardrums. _

_He was too late. _

_He ran as fast as he could, his feet tripping slightly on the sandy terrain. Never before had he been so frightened. He plunged his arms into the ground, digging and digging. He felt nothing but a cold hand. He struggled to lift her from the deathly clutches of the earth, but no breath passed through her. Lifeless. His heart was slashed from his chest. _

_He was too late. _

_Blood pouring down a deep gash on his head, he kicked at the doors of the taxi cab. He couldn't get her out. He punched through the already broken glass window, not feeling pain as shards severed the already bruised flesh of his hand. He reached over and placed a hand on her neck. No steady beat pulsed beneath his fingers. He cried out. _

_He was too late. _

_He ran down the hallway as it became longer and longer with each quickened stride. There were cries, shrill yells and finally the sound of a body hitting the floor. He pushed through the door and pulled the trigger. Her attacker was down. She was on a heap on the floor, trying to pull a scalpel from her chest. Blood soaked her blouse and her face was drained of any color. He cradled her head and tried to make sure she wasn't afraid as he felt the life leave her. _

_He was too late._

Brennan did not pressure him to answer her right away. As he shut his eyes for a moment, another scene played out differently before him. Now the nightmares could disturb him when he was awake.

_He slipped on the water on the road. Her scream was drowned by the stabbing sound of the car horn. Above the commotion he could hear the nauseating crunch of metal hitting body. He felt the burning bile rise to the back of his throat. The driver had left her to die in the street. Broken and conquered, she lay in the gutter. The water around her was thick with blood, the rain swelling around her. He bent down to gather her in his arms. She was drenched to the bone. _

Bones.

He choked back a cry.

"I'm sorry Bones."

"What?" She didn't understand.

"I'm sorry for everything."

"I don't"- She began.

"I'm sorry for ditching our friends for her, I'm sorry for telling her about our relationship, I'm sorry for ignoring you…" Brennan looked saddened by his words, like everything he was bringing up was a traumatic event that she wanted to forget. Her voice was quieter than before.

"Booth…that's all in the past. You're in a relationship; it's…normal to"-

He looked at her for a moment and the sentence died in her throat. She didn't go on.

"You shouldn't defend me Bones. I was wrong to do that to our friends…I wrong to do that to… you."

She tried to smile so she could soothe some of his obvious self loathing. "Booth when people are in committed relationships; your significant other comes before a work partner…before a friend usually. Especially when you are, like you say: 'in love with them' then they become the most important aspect of"-

"No." He cut her off.

"What?" Something was definitely wrong.

"Hannah and I broke up."

After a long pause Brennan placed her hand on top of his. He could feel warmth returning to his numb hands. "Booth I'm sorry." Brennan felt that his sadness was catching and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to cry. "I know that she was very important to you…" He was looking at their hands as she said it. He took in her words and his voice cracked in his throat.

"Bones, you're wrong."

"What do you"-

"She was never…" Brennan still didn't understand. He needed her to see.

"Booth, I know that Hannah is making a big mistake, I know that you would be a very reliable and satisfactory partner, emotionally, sexually"-

"What makes you think that Hannah is the one who ended it?"

"She didn't?" She paused. Brennan was surprised even as the sentence left her lips. "You broke up with her?"

"Yes."

"Well, why Booth? I thought you were happy with her. You were…the happiest I've ever seen you with someone. I thought it was perfect. I thought you were on the path to getting everything you…wanted." There was a long silence as all these words hung in the air between them. They were forming an invisible barrier between them. Booth would break through it to get to her.

"She should never have been more important to me than you. She wasn't. I-I've thought about all the times I could have lost you when I was…off with Hannah. Do you know that you were almost killed by that car in the rain Bones? What would have happened then? All the other times that you could have been taken from me…Kenton, the gravedigger, Gormogon, that Doctor…What if I didn't get to you?"

Brennan thought about everything he was saying. She remembered a time when she had said something similar. On the curb waiting for a taxi: _"What if I can't get to you?..." _

"Hannah and I, it wasn't meant to be. It's you Bones…you're everything. And that's what I've come here to say. I needed you to know that. After everything, after all this time…I just needed you to know that."

And with that Booth got up and went to retrieve his coat from the floor. Brennan remained on the couch looking staggered and breathless.

"You don't have to say anything right now. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" He went to open the door, but turned to sweep his eyes over her once more.

"Thank you for always being there." He said. As he said it, he looked sad and tired, but Brennan could see a flicker in his eyes that was kind and loving. With that he closed the door softly. The latch clicked with a note of conclusiveness.

Brennan felt like she had left her body. It took her a moment to realize he was gone. So she ran. She sprinted out of her apartment in nothing but her pajamas and robe. She raced down the hallway and spotted Booth getting into the elevator. The doors were closing.

"Booth wait!" She called and reached for him. He put his hand out to stop the elevator from closing and pushed back the double doors.

He came to her and she came to him. They stood in front of one another. They stood like that for a long time. Minutes and seconds were nothing but a manmade invention, time didn't exist right now. They soon inched closer to one another and she reached up a hand to brush a droplet of water from his face. His hair was dripping from the melted ice. He reached forward and twirled his fingers around a damp lock of her hair. There was reassurance in making a connection this way. It was a silent understanding between them. It said that everything was going to be okay.

And she pulled him into a deep kiss.

And this time, neither of them pushed the other away.

_**Thanks for reading! Thoughts? =) **_


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